Harry -
Sarah, I think we should start by getting this out of the way:
SQUEEEE!
Sarah -
I will happily SQUEEEE for Patrick Troughton and Frazer Hines!
Multi-Doctor stories can be tricky affairs, but it's always wonderful to see beloved friends again.
Harry -
What a charming opening scene. The chemistry between Patrick and Frazer is like they'd never been apart. With Victoria off on a side trip of her own, the boys are traveling to a research centre aboard a space station.
Sarah -
Further deepening the Season 6B fan theories!
Harry -
I love how Season 6B has taken on a life of its own in alternate Doctor Who media. Especially how it helps explain away the obviously older looking Doctor and Jamie.
As a 1985 three-parter, "The Two Doctors" is equivalent to a classic six-parter. If these two had spent the entire time talking in the console room, I would have been just fine with that.
Sarah -
I love the black and white opening, with its shift to color.
Harry -
In keeping with the notion of Season 6B, the Doctor is visiting Dastari -- head scientist at the research station -- as an unofficial emissary of the Time Lords.
Sarah -
Oh, the Time Lords and their meddling ways. So much for non-interference.
Harry -
The TARDIS lands in the station's kitchens, lair of the repulsive chef Shockeye, an Androgum savage who feasts his eyes on Jamie's flesh.
Sarah -
Shockeye has got to be the most disgusting character in Doctor Who history. There's really nothing to like about him, is there?
Harry -
As villains go, Shockeye is a triumph. I absolutely, positively loathe him. Bravo to John Stratton on a memorably repugnant performance.
Beating a hasty departure from the kitchens, the Doctor and Jamie find their way to Dastari's office. This is another eye-catching example of 80s future-design. Dark greys and light neons combine in the background, and a large collection of globes takes up almost an entire wall. With his grey combed-back hair, thick white sunglasses and metallic black bodysuit, Dastari looks like some kind of Italian fashion designer.
Sarah -
Doesn't he just? I'm sure I must have been quite impressed by the design back in the day.
Harry -
The Doctor presents him with a cease and desist request on behalf of Gallifrey. The Time Lords are concerned about time experiments being conducted at the station by Kartz and Reimer, who have assembled a nearly-functional time travel machine.
Dastari laughs the request off, suggesting that the Time Lords only concern about the experiments is that they threaten their monopoly on time. He then introduces his own subject of experimentation, another Androgum savage named Chessene, whose body and mind he has augmented to the level of super-genius. After a quick introduction, she departs and sets about her own business: arranging an attack on the research station. Unbeknownst to Dastari, she has been conspiring with an invasion force that suddenly makes its strike.
Sarah -
Sontaran battlecruisers on the scene! Dastari collapses! Jamie runs away at the Doctor's command! The Doctor finds himself facing the business end of a Sontaran gun! Feels like old times!
Harry -
Multiple-villain stories are my favourite. So many rivalries, double-crossings and double-double-crossings, as we'll see later on.
Sarah -
Meanwhile, the Sixth Doctor and Peri are fishing and sunbathing on the shore of a lake somewhere.
Harry -
Confession time: after the brilliant opening with the Second Doctor and Jamie, I was a bit disheartened when they cut to the fishing scene, where the JN-T era played out in microcosm. We see the smarty-pants Doctor in a horrendously over-thought costume, the bosomy companion bored and whiny, and not much else happening. Gah, what a letdown from the first scene.
Sarah -
I'm so glad you brought up the costuming. What the hell is with Peri's? I spent the entire story thinking her breasts should have gotten separate billing, given all their screen time.
Harry -
Not even Robert Holmes could pen a smooth transition between the eras. Of all the Doctors to set up side-by-side with the belovèd Patrick Troughton, it fell to poor old grumbly Colin Baker. His entire time as the Doctor plays out like a series of short straws.
Sarah -
Poor Colin -- how many times have we typed that so far? I think he makes the most of what he's been given in "The Two Doctors" and has some really good moments, even if he has to be cranky towards his former self.
When gumblejacks aren't biting, they pack it up and head into the TARDIS -- where the Doctor collapses. Meanwhile, the Second Doctor is trapped in a glass chamber, being tortured by a Sontaran.
One of the most interesting things about this story is seeing the impact of what is happening to the Second Doctor on the Sixth Doctor. This is the first example of many in this story and each time it happens, I find myself wondering how the Third, Fourth, and Fifth Doctors are reacting.
Harry -
Guessing that the Third Doctor might have felt temporarily woozy before resuming his Venusian aikido lesson. The Fifth Doctor would have collapsed into a coma for sure. As for the Fourth Doctor, maybe it was like those times where he'd go still and stare off into space for a moment, before someone snapped him out of it again.
Sarah -
All those moments are now a permanent part of my head canon!
Harry -
Sixie immediately identifies that a timeslip has occurred, and decides he needs to see a professional, setting course for the research station and his old friend Dastari. What a coincidence! Maybe Dastari's name flickered across the Doctor's mind as an echo of the encounter that the Second Doctor had just had.
Sarah -
Say what you will about Sixie, he's a man of action while those other three can't be arsed to lend a hand to their previous self!
Harry -
The TARDIS arrives, after the events in the Second Doctor's timestream. The station is darkened and cloaked with the scent of death. The Doctor finds Dastari's journal, which recorded the intervention of the Time Lords, but not what happened after.
While Peri and the Doctor set off into the station's infrastructure and deal with an aggressive onboard computer, we see that the Second Doctor has been kidnapped to Earth. The Sontarans, Chessene, Shockeye and Dastari set up in an isolated hacienda in Spain. There is where they will complete the Kartz-Reimer time machine, using the Doctor's DNA to stabilize the biometric thingamajiggy.
Sarah -
How convenient that they should select Spain as their destination -- just when JN-T was in need of a holiday! What were the chances of that?
Harry -
No kidding eh! This story was originally proposed for New Orleans, but the BBC wouldn't spring for the travel budget so they had to settle for Spain. Honestly, it's not until the final chase through the streets of Seville that the location ever really figures in the story. The villains could have holed up in a house in Croydon and it would have been the same story.
Sarah -
Holiday in Croydon? Perish the thought!
Harry -
Back on the research station, the Doctor and Peri spend an inordinate amount of time climbing through the infrastructure piping before Peri is attacked and the Doctor momentarily rendered unconscious by a spray of gas triggered by the computer. Cue extreme close up of the Doctor's unconscious face! When Peri slaps him awake again, they discover that Jamie has been hiding out in the same place. After Jamie gives them the rundown on his Doctor's argument with Dastari and the Sontaran attack, the Doctor forges a mind link with his previous incarnation. After hearing the bell of Seville cathedral, he knows where they must set off in pursuit. It was so easy to figure out!
Sarah -
That's quite the distinctive bell. Peri's initial run in with Jamie is just creepy. He attacks her under a tarp with some awkward rolling around before she knocks him out. It's icky.
Harry -
They did do a good job making Frazer look filthy and he played "disoriented" well, giving an indication of how long Jamie had been hiding out in there.
The TARDIS arrives in a field near the hacienda, where our friends encounter Oscar -- thespian, restauranteur and moth collector -- and his probably very patient friend Anita. Oscar relates that he saw a group matching the villains description carrying the Second Doctor into the hacienda. Our heroes draw up a plan of action. Anita is to guide the Doctor and Jamie to the back entrance, where they will sneak inside through the cellar; Peri is to distract the baddies by knocking on the front door; and Oscar will basically stay put.
Sarah -
Oh, Oscar. Poor, unfortunate Oscar. He's like a poor man's Henry Gordon Jago -- without the charm.
Harry -
Exactly.
So, when Dastari augmented Chessene, she was given the ability to read minds. This sets up the odd scene where the Second Doctor is hauled up from the cellar and wheeled around so that Chessene can observe Peri's reaction. Only, this isn't Peri's Doctor, and Peri decides to depart of her own accord. She had provided enough of a distraction for the Doctor to -- once again -- help himself to tinkering with someone else's time machine. It's like an addiction with him. Anyway, he and Jamie hang around too long, as the Sontaran Stike captures them.
Sarah -
Is it just me or do these Sontarans look a bit anemic? Someone should feed them a proper meal, not that we need to encourage Shockeye with that...
Harry -
I must have seen this story before any of the earlier Sontaran ones, because it was implanted in my mind early on that the Sontarans were tall, lean and wore black, as we see here. In the new series, the short Sontarans in blue armour blew my mind. I wouldn't mind a new non-Strax Sontaran story, especially during the Capaldi era.
Anyway, Peri doesn't get far before realizing that Shockeye is in pursuit, determined to make a meal of her flesh. She stumbles and he looms over her looking disgustingly lecherous. Cue extreme close up of Peri's frightened face! Part three continues the scene, as Shockeye knocks her unconscious and carries her back to the hacienda.
Sarah -
Shockeye is so vile and creepy, but I'm pretty sure he's the first alien who isn't trying to snog Peri. Just, you know, have her for dinner. Ick.
Harry -
He's so disgusting it's unreal. Back in the cellar, a quick stab of the knife by Jamie disables Stike long enough for he and the Doctor to escape the cellar, where they are reunited with the Second Doctor, still stuck in his wheelchair.
Sarah -
I love their first encounter:
Sixie: "I've come a long way for you."
Second Doctor: "Naturally. Don't expect any thanks."
Can you imagine having to have a conversation with yourself? The horror!
Harry -
Here is where the story becomes a runaround through the hacienda. It seems like everyone takes a turn chasing someone, or being chased, or being captured and escaping again while the plot sits there unfurthered. It harkened back to the Pertwee six-parters, where there was a lot of this kind of padding, and repeated cycles of capture-escape-capture. It almost felt like Patrick Troughton had been under-utilized since his kidnapping from the space station.
Sarah -
Despite all the running about, the third episode is by far my favorite episode of the story.
Harry -
But wait, a brain storm of Bob Holmesian proportions!
Chessene suddenly declares that she wants a consort, and demands that Dastari converts the Second Doctor into an Androgum hybrid.
Sarah -
Of course she does, while offering Shockeye as the donor of the Androgum DNA. Such a delightful lady she is.
Harry -
A quick couple of procedures and the transformation takes place. That Dastari is good. Did I mention under-utilized characters? The Sontarans finally get bored of all the standing around waiting for their time machine, so they plot to kill off everyone in the hacienda. Chessene of course hatches a counter-plot and attacks them with poison gas.
Sarah -
A double double-cross!
Harry -
Amid all that mayhem, Shockeye and his new Androgum cousin sneak off to town for a spot of lunch. And so begins one of the most bizarre chases in all of Doctor Who.
Sarah -
The restaurant scene is what I most remember about this story. Patrick Troughton is hysterical and looks like he's having the time of his life, chewing up the scenery.
Harry -
In his final performance as the Doctor, Troughton gives it his all and it's unforgettable. He pulls the maddest faces as an Androgum, marching arm-in-arm with Shockeye to Seville.
Sarah -
They end up in poor Oscar's restaurant, which features my favorite moment of "The Two Doctors":
SHOCKEYE: Do you serve humans here?
OSCAR: Most of the time, sir. Yes, I think I could venture to say that most of our customers are certainly human.
SHOCKEYE: I mean human meat, you fawning imbecile.
OSCAR: No, sir. I'm afraid the nouvelle cuisine has not yet penetrated this establishment.
I was dying over the last line. Only Bob Holmes could have written that!
Harry -
The restaurant scene is like a crazy-ass mashup of Doctor Who, Fawlty Towers and Are You Being Served?, quite literally. It was worth it for JN-T to finagle a vacation in Spain, just so we could get to watch the madness at Las Cadenas.
Sarah -
Alas, things don't go well when poor Oscar has to demand payment. Still, he performs the most over-the-top death scene in the entire history of Doctor Who, so that's something.
Harry -
Oscar's death scene is the best, no exaggeration. His self-absorbed pathos and flair for language leads to one of my favourite quotes, ever:
OSCAR: I'm afraid this is Botcherby's last curtain call.
ANITA: Oh, no!
OSCAR: No one will ever see my definitive Hamlet now.
Rolling on the floor laughing, every time.
Like I said, it was worth it for JN-T to go abroad if we were able to enjoy the death scene of all death scenes.
Sarah -
It's absolutely perfect.
Harry -
After all that, Shockeye leads everyone in beating a retreat to the hacienda for a final showdown. After trying -- and failing -- to slaughter Jamie, Shockeye finally meets his "just desserts" when the Doctor murders him with some of Oscar's bottled cyanide (another very convenient thing). In a last minute face-turn, Dastari declares regret for his attempts to put Chessene above the gods, and she responds by shooting him dead. She then dives into the Kartz-Reimer time machine to make a run for it, but thanks to Sixie's earlier tinkering it blows up and takes her with it.
Sarah -
Anyone who believes the Doctor can't be violent has clearly never seen "The Two Doctors". It's all in self-defense, but he's fairly ruthless about the whole thing.
Harry -
And ready with a quip of course. The Doctor's capacity for murder is glossed over in this era, despite the particularly violent examples of it.
So with all the baddies destroyed, the Doctors and companions make their farewells. I think this model is a better example of how to do a multiple-Doctors story. Instead of cramming every living Doctor into it, Robert Holmes crafted a fun adventure featuring the current 80s Doctor and a loveable favourite from the 60s. I wish we could have this kind of pairing in the new series. Smith and McCoy, Capaldi and McGann, Tennant and Davison... oh wait we did get that one, however brief!
Sarah -
I've love to see McGann get some more screen time -- especially with Capaldi!
Harry -
Padding and runarounds aside, I could watch this one over and over.
Sarah -
While I'm a huge fan of Bob Holmes' work, I think he worked best under a strong script editor. I imagine Eric Saward just telling him to have at it and Holmes feeling like a kid in a candy store. The script has a lot of problems that I can't get past, despite all the delightful moments with old friends.
Harry -
Best Line: "No one will ever see my definitive Hamlet now." Always!
Favourite Moment: the Second Doctor's ineffectual ranting while confined in the cellar. "Oh my giddy aunt. Oh crumbs."
Lasting Image: the Second Doctor and Shockeye at the restaurant.
8/10
Sarah -
Best Line: "No, sir. I'm afraid the nouvelle cuisine has not yet penetrated this establishment."
Oh, but imagine when it does!
Favorite Moment: The Second Doctor and Shockeye in the restaurant.
Lasting Imagine: The Second Doctor and Shockeye walking into town.
6/10
Our marathon continues with Story #141: Timelash...
