Harry -
Doctor Who does disaster movies. I love this one and I don't care what anyone thinks!
Sarah -
It's got some dodgy bits, but it's a Christmas Special, so it's best to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Harry -
RTD's early years coincided with the height of 70s disaster flicks (the most notable of which are listed here), so there was plenty of memorable material to tap into when he set about writing "Voyage of the Damned".
Sarah -
I've seen more of these movies than I might like to admit. They were quite the thing back in the day.
Harry -
It feels like we've watched the opening moments of this story about a dozen times in the last few weeks, what with the finale of Season Three, "Time Crash", and now here. Having fixed the double paradox reality bomb with his former self, the Doctor adeptly repositions the TARDIS aboard the Titanic. He finds... angelic androids, a spiky red alien, and the sky filled with stars. This Titanic is a luxury liner in space, orbiting planet Earth.
Sarah -
He did remind himself to put up the shields, but whoever listens to their past selves?
Harry -
Slipping into his tuxedo and black trainers, the Doctor mixes and mingles. There are snobs, happy contest winners, and those angels. They totally reminded me of the beautiful creations in "Robots of Death", and still do. Turns out, these "Heavenly Host" are information robots and one of them quickly gets the Doctor up to speed. He also befriends Astrid Peth, one of the serving staff who just happens to be special guest star Kylie Minogue! JNT must have leapt out of his grave to punch the sky over this one.
Sarah -
Kylie! Fun fact: "Voyage of the Damned" is the highest rated episode since the show’s return in 2005 and one of the highest in Doctor Who’s history. I imagine much of that is down to Kylie. I felt a little old having to explain to my daughter who she is and why she was a big deal for Doctor Who. JNT would truly be proud.
Speaking of stunt-ish casting, "Voyage of the Damned" sees the return of three past actors from Doctor Who:
--Geoffrey Palmer, who appeared in two episodes in the Pertwee era -- the Administrator in "The Mutants" and, most memorably for me, as Edward Masters in "Doctor Who and the Silurians".
--Clive Swift, who played the repulsive Mr. Jobel in "Revelation of the Daleks" in the Sixth Doctor Era.
--Bernard Cribbins, who portrayed Tom Campbell in the Peter Cushing film Dalek’s Invasion Earth 2150 AD. Cribbins wasn’t originally cast as Donna’s grandfather, but was asked to come back when the original actor had to withdraw due to illness. We’ve both been looking forward to the DoctorDonna Era, so it was a delight to get a little preview with Wilf.
JNT would certainly approve of each of these casting choices. I imagine RTD being like a kid in a candy shop as each actor signed on.
Oh dear, I almost forget to mention the most momentous return in the whole of Doctor Who! Elizabeth II and the Corgis are back for the first time since 1988’s "Silver Nemesis". It’s good to have the old girl back!
Harry -
But wait, there's more! The Queen's voice was provided by Jessica Martin, who appeared in 1988's "The Greatest Show in the Galaxy". This special certainly doubles as the ultimate Doctor Who guest actor reunion show.
Sarah -
Getting the old gang back together!
Harry -
While we've been taking all this in, some boor has spilled a drink all over the floor and skulked away. The Doctor squats down to help Astrid, and they strike up a quick acquaintance just in time for Clive Swift's Mr. Copper to gather everyone around for an excursion. They will be beaming down to the planet Earth to see its primitive culture up close. The ship's onboard historian, Copper provides a hilariously garbled recitation of Western culture and Christmas-time traditions. The Doctor is bemused, and he invites Astrid to sneak down with him.
Sarah -
I particularly enjoyed Copper’s history lesson. It had a certain...flare.
Harry -
The excursion group beam down, and who's the first person they see but Wilfrid Mott, news seller. Decked out in his antler hat, he's remained in London -- along with the Queen -- to see out the holidays. The rest of the citizens have evacuated, fearing another outburst of alien activity that has become habitual at this time of year.
Sarah -
Everyone leaving London to avoid the Christmas catastrophe cracks me up. Wilf and Her Majesty are always standing by in a crisis!
Harry -
The excursion is cut short by a message from the Titanic. We cut to the bridge, where Geoffrey Palmer's captain dismisses the rest of his crew, and takes the wheel by himself. Midshipman Frame remains, reminding the captain that there must always be two crew on the bridge. The captain silently steers on. There's something definitely off with him.
Sarah -
Sweet Russell Tovey as Frame is a delight. His dedication to duty is commendable.
Harry -
Meanwhile, a trio of meteors appears on the ship's radar.
Sarah -
It’s always something, isn’t it?
Harry -
The captain has betrayed everyone. Sick and dying, he cut a dark deal to steer the ship to its doom in exchange for a payment to his family. Palmer's performance is blood-curdlingly cold. His only flash of guilt is over the fact that Frame is so young. The forces behind the deal had assured that the ship's crew would all be old men, and this of all things rankles the captain.
Frame takes it upon himself to steer the ship out of danger, but the captain gets over his guilt and shoots him. What an utter creep.
Sarah -
I can NEVER forgive someone who shoots Russell Tovey! What a jerky rat-bastard of a captain.
Harry -
The meteors strike the ship and all hell breaks loose. Passengers and crew tumble out through openings. The TARDIS spills out into space as well, drifting away down to Earth. The Titanic loses power, causing its orbital stabilizers to fail. It's about to plunge down to Earth as well. If that's not enough, the heavenly host suddenly go homicidal.
Sarah -
The host freak the heck out of me. Honestly, I feel like everyone should have known they would eventually decide to kill all the humans. Have they never watched or read any sci-fi?
Harry -
Asimov's first rule of robots often goes out the window in Doctor Who.
It's as good a time as any for the Doctor to rally some of the non-robotic survivors and deliver an "I'm the Doctor" speech. And he gives this one with real gusto.
The plan is for the Doctor to lead Astrid, Copper, Bannakaffalatta, the Van Hoffs and Rickston Slade up through the ship to the bridge, where the Doctor hopes to take control of the ship. In classic disaster movie fashion, the group encounter pitfalls, dodgy bridges, explosions, flames, killer robots and general hopelessness, as the Doctor urges everyone on.
Along the way, the Van Hoffs and Bannakaffalatta meet their dooms. In keeping with the genre, someone had to go, but it was really sad that the loving couple died, and not the self-interested boor Slade.
Sarah -
Can we talk about how lovely the Van Hoffs are? Foon’s revelation that she called the number for the cruise competition five-thousand times to win and now owes the phone company 5,000 credits -- the same cost as buying two tickets -- is shocking, but Morvin just laughs it off and tells her they’ll find a way to pay. Foon’s death reminds me of of Shelley Winters in Poseidon Adventure, sacrificing herself to help the others survive.
Harry -
They gave a much needed positive element to the story. Also along the way, Astrid agrees to become the Doctor's new travel companion. Imagine what that season might have been like.
Sarah -
Honestly, I imagine it would be Rose, Part II. I’ll take a hard pass on that nonsense, which is not to say that Astrid isn’t a lovely character. We just didn’t need any more of that mooning over each other mess going on.
Harry -
Yeesh, you're probably right. Alas, we never find out if it would have been Rose the Second. The Doctor utilizes the heavenly host to spring one final revelation -- the fact that the force behind this disaster is aboard the ship, and has been hiding in a protective crash container the whole time. It's Max Capricorn, head of the space cruise line. He's little more than a disembodied head, warped beyond all sensibility and willing to destroy the ship, the Earth, and all bystanders to take revenge on the rebellious board of his company. Complete lunatic, and one hell of a panto villain.
Sarah -
Max’s little cart made me think of Paradise Towers. This story has a similar claustrophobic feeling.
Harry -
It's Astrid who saves the day, toppling Max into a chasm, but she falls with him to her death.
Sarah -
Poor Astrid. Yet, somehow, things get even worse -- for me at least. The Doctor walks through flames to be lifted by the Host and carried up to the bridge. The resurrection imagery is just too much, but what I expect from RTD. But wait, there’s more schlock to be had when the Doctor manages one last kiss with Astrid as her molecules dissipate into space.
Harry -
Yeah, RTD couldn't help "RTDing" this one to the breaking point. This put me right off wanting Astrid as a companion.
Sarah -
In the end, jerky Slade has been made even more rich by the tragedy...
Harry -
Outrageous!
Sarah -
...Frame is in charge of the ship...
Harry -
Courageous!
Sarah -
...and Copper is expecting to end up in prison.
Harry -
Disadvantageous.
Sarah -
Fortunately, the Doctor decides to save Copper from prison and takes him down to Earth, where he discovers his pre-loaded credit card is worth a million pounds. So, I guess that’s a happy-ish ending.
Harry -
One sour note was that all the female characters died horribly, while most of the white male characters walked away better off. Come on, RTD.
Apart from that, let us curse a Happy Christmas to all the little goblins! Let it rain deer until Saint Klaus steals everyone's stockings!
Sarah -
Best Line:
When Bannakaffalatta confesses he’s a cyborg:
Astrid: No, but everything's changed now. Cyborgs are getting equal rights. They passed a law back on Sto. You can even get married.
Bannakaffalatta: Marry you?
Astrid: Well, you can buy me a drink first. Come on. Let's recharge you. Just stay there for a bit.
Bannakaffalatta: Tell no one.
Astrid: I promise.
Doctor: What's going on up there?
Astrid: I think Bannakaffalatta and I just got engaged.
Favorite Moment: Morvin’s reaction to Foon’s confession.
Lasting Image: The scary Heavenly Host
6/10
Harry -
Best Line:
DOCTOR: What's your first name?
FRAME: Alonso.
DOCTOR: You're kidding me.
FRAME: What?
DOCTOR: That's something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonso!
Favourite Moment: Copper's mangled history of Christmas.
Lasting Image: Max Capricorn.
8/10
Our marathon continues with Story #189: Partners in Crime...
