First off, I’m positively giddy at the prospect of actual moving images in this story after so many reconstructions!
Harry -
Yup yup, valuable as they are to preserving the legacy, these reconstructions are wearing on me too. I want moving pictures, is that so wrong?
Sarah -
It's not wrong at all. I plan to party like it's 1999 when we finally get through our last recon. It was rather heartening to hear Rob Shearman comment at Chicago TARDIS about how chuffed he and Toby were when they got through the final recon.
Harry -
Chicago TARDIS was a blast!
Sarah -
It was a great time. It’s like a revival meeting for Whovians.
Now, back to my list...second, eyes in mouths are damn creepy. I may have trouble sleeping this evening with visions of Monoids dancing in my head.
Harry -
My manager would be alarmed to know how much time I spent today wondering how the actors got their eyeball to move around.
Sarah -
I'm so glad it wasn't just me. I was all distracted by the mechanics of it all. I also spent far too much time wondering how the Monoids ate all the food the humans prepared for them.
Harry -
That too. For the eyes -- sorry, eye -- I concluded that the actors had a painted ping-pong ball in their mouths, with an opening cut into the back so that they could use their tongues to move the "eyeball" around. Although no one seemed to do it very well and the Monoids all came off boggle-eyed.
Sarah -
Third, I’m afraid your analysis of Dodo’s mental health is coloring my world. I felt a little sympathy for her when the Doctor harshed on her way of speaking, but can’t shake the impression that the girl is wackadoodle.
Harry -
Bonkers. She's already gotten into the TARDIS wardrobe and decided that it's time for Dodo's Mad Medieval Cosplay, la la la!
Sarah -
She was even chided for it by the Doctor. Later, when the Doctor says, “Don’t worry, Child, you’re quite safe with us,” you know things are going to go very wrong. Who knew it would be the common cold? Typhoid Dodo is on the scene.
Harry -
HAH!
Sarah -
Makes me just a little paranoid about my current sniffles. Perhaps I’ll just quarantine myself to the house for the duration to avoid spreading it about.
As the plague spreads, suspicion naturally falls on the new arrivals and a trial begins. I was hoping that Steven would finally get some good scenes as he confronts the Guardians, but he just passes out. Typical.
Harry -
I've been meaning to ask you your thoughts on Steven. Doesn't he seem terribly bland from one story to the next? Since he was introduced as a mildly overexcited fighter pilot, we haven't heard a peep about his backstory, nor have whatever skills he may possess have been worked into any story. He's settled into a kind of bemused tagalong who does the occasional bit of heavy lifting for the old man.
He is handsome though, don't you think?
Sarah -
He's terribly dishy, which somehow makes the lack of character development even more frustrating. I had high hopes for "The Massacre", which should have been his moment to shine, but was so disappointing in the end. I really want Steven to be fabulous, but am starting to reconcile myself to the fact that he's never going to get there.
So, the Doctor finds a cure, vaccinates the Guardian, delivers a reassuring speech, and heads off on the complimentary shuttle back to the TARDIS.
Harry -
I love the complimentary shuttle! It's a far cry from "An Unearthly Child," where the Doctor and his friends had to scamper back to the TARDIS all bedraggled and hair wild. These humans are clearly a civilized people, despite their curious antipathy towards trousers and leggings.
Sarah -
There's definitely a trend towards either under- or over-dressing on Doctor Who, isn't there?
Harry -
Definitely. And actually, these pantless people may not be entirely civilized, as we saw them almost go to pieces during the Dodo epidemic. Maybe there was a symbolic meaning to Dodo's medieval costume, as there was a mood of "BURN THE WITCH" being whipped up by Zentos, the deputy commander.
Sarah -
And what a charming man he was. Still, they find themselves safely back in the TARDIS and all is well in the universe…or is it?
Harry -
It is for all of 10 seconds, before that quirky TARDIS lands them in the exact same spot, 700 years later. The camera pans up to reveal the now-completed human statue, and the statue is topped by a Monoid head!
Sarah -
The shot of the statue was my favorite single moment of the story.
Harry -
I liked that cliffhanger, and the ensuing two episodes were very fast moving. I also liked the repeated use of overhead shots, something that makes this story stand out from others.
Sarah -
I thought the overall design and feeling of the story was very classic Doctor Who. I could easily imagine this story being told in another Doctor’s era – perhaps the Fourth Doctor. He’d have a good time giving the Monoids what for.
Harry -
Just as I was panning Steven for never using his fighter pilot skills, he suddenly goes and analyses the spaceship's navigation charts. Well done flyboy!
Sarah -
It was a heartening moment.
Harry -
Er... that about wraps up the nice things I have to say. Even Rob and Toby broke character and started trashing this story. My favourite part of "The Ark" might actually be their review in Running Through Corridors. Hilarious stuff!
Sarah -
I just got around to reading it. I definitely laughed more than I have anywhere else in the book!
Harry -
Anyway, after starting off as benign, Ood-like servant creatures, the Monoids have been fitted with voiceboxes and armed with heat guns. Having been weakened by the Dodo epidemic, the human Guardians are now enslaved to the Monoids. But it's done so hokily. There's a short story by John Wyndham called "Dumb Martian," and it plays on this theme of servants-become-masters to chilling effect, but here it's so, so hokey.
Sarah -
It does kind of fall apart in the second half, doesn’t it, which is really too bad because the story has so much promise. I liked the fact that the Doctor had become a bit of a legend among the Guardian descendents. I also thought Venussa was a strong character with a nice performance by Eileen Helsby.
Harry -
Yes, she did a nice turn.
Sarah -
She might have made a good companion; she looked like she wouldn’t have minded traveling with Steven, if you know when I mean.
Harry -
Indeed! Now, my notes are littered with comments like "shoddy acting," "bad acting," and worst of all: "Hartnell BORED." I wonder if this story was the beginning of the end of William Hartnell's job as the Doctor. He looks terribly bored throughout the story, merely reciting his lines. Even his Hartnellian giggles seem forced.
Sarah -
The moment when the Monoid almost reveals his diabolical plan to Dodo before catching himself may be the single worst moment of acting in the entire history of the series. Not a race of super-spies, these Monoids.
Harry -
The Monoids are livelier, with all that flailing of hands, but they are so silly as monsters, and with the rest of the cast seemingly dampened by Hartnell's boredom, the story limps to the finish. There, we are made to believe that a Refusian -- an invisible creature that uses human-sized chairs to sit on -- can somehow lift a colossus statue and help pitch it out of the spaceship before the bomb contained within can explode. Yeesh.
Sarah -
But they certainly have a knack for interior design! Terribly kind of them to set up such swanky digs for their coming neighbors. I can only imagine the BBC accounting department was delighted by the notion of invisible aliens. Crap storytelling, but easy on the budget. Speaking of budget, how the heck did they afford an elephant? Did it just wander in from another set?
Harry -
Imagine the director whisper-shouting: "Keep rolling, keep rolling! Actors, go and stroke the elephant, we've not got enough time for another take!"
If you'll humour me as I go all "Toby" for a bit, it was nice to see Terence Bayler in this story. I recognized him as the actor who played MacDuff in Roman Polanski's wild and wooley 1971 film version of Macbeth. He also appeared in Jean Marsh's 1975 production of Upstairs, Downstairs.
Sarah -
Not to mention all his work with the Monty Python chaps. Alas, poor Yendom, betrayed so cruelly by the masters he trusted to save him. Doesn’t he know what happens to collaborators?
Harry -
Alas, poor Yendom.
Sarah -
Lasting image: The Monoid statue.
Favorite moment: The big reveal of the Monoid statue.
Best line: Doctor telling the monoid in the lab, “Yes, I know I’m a bit of a quack.”
6/10
Harry -
Lasting image: All those overhead shots will stick in my mind.
Favourite moment: Random elephant.
Best line: "Two, take them away to the security kitchen..." I was hoping that that sentence would end with "...and have them puréed."
5/10
Our marathon continues with Story #24 - The Celestial Toymaker...
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