Admit it! I know it was you! You took the last Orangina out of the freezer. You sabotaged my refreshment!
Now I have nothing to sip while viewing this two-part surrealist film, "The Edge of Destruction."
Look at these four people. They seemed to be a team. Now look at them. Disoriented and confused, with achy necks.
My throat, so dry. Thief! I have decided to throw you off this blog for your duplicity. Now go and stand a quarter distance closer to the camera and in profile while I watch some more.
The situation is affecting these people in different ways. The Young Girl is having psychotic fits. Her Grandfather lies unmoving on the floor. The Man is puzzled, but the Woman is strangely unconcerned:
"What's he doing there?"
"Oh, he's cut his head."
They leave Grandfather on the floor.
Where is this, exactly? These camera angles, they are unfamiliar and unique. We will never see shots like these again.
This place, it is some kind of minimalist furniture store. There's a chair here, some ugly art over there, and in the next room is the most uncomfortable bed ever designed. The Young Girl hates this bed. She hates it! She hates it! Why won't it die?!
Eerie music means some weird shit is going down back in the main room. Oh, it's just Grandfather back on his feet, nifty new headband, anyone for some classic SF jargon?
"It's the planet Quinnis in the Fourth Universe."
Sure it is, Pops. Why don't you have a lie down. The Young Girl has prepared a freshly killed bed for you.
Who can sleep at a time like this? When my tormentor has made off with the last Orangina. Don't think I haven't forgotten! You are fired from the Internet at the end of this story!
That is, if anyone is still alive at the end of this story. It's all coming apart. Paranoia and accusations. Grandfather creeping around while everyone sleeps. Anger and violence. This group is disintegrating, as might the entire furniture store. The clocks are already melting!
The Woman obviously read Art History. She delivers a brilliant discourse on the influence of subconscious Oedipal guilt and the role of Marxist animals in the early dreamscape paintings of Salvador Dali.
This spurs Grandfather to deliver a brilliant discourse on everything in the entire universe, hee hee ha ha!
But it's not about who can shout louder anymore.
And I suppose it's not about who stole whose Orangina anymore.
I may have been a bit shouty myself back there, and I can see you are hurt. But I really think you're really swell, and you have wonderfully good taste in shoes. What I'm trying to say is, you have wonderfully good taste in shoes.
Are we good again? Wanna go play in the snow with me?
Sarah -
“Tell Your Disappointment to Suck It; I'm Doing a Bottle Episode!” -- Jeff Winger, Community
I have a weakness for bottle episodes. Yes, they're cheap. But, done well, they can produce amazing television -- Hawkeye and Houlihan trapped behind enemy lines; Archie and Meathead locked in the bar storage room; Walter White and Jesse Pinkman in the desert with a dead battery in their meth-cooking RV; Bayliss and Pembleton grilling the arabber, in what had to be the most exhausting hour of television ever (I was ready to confess!); Paulie and Christopher stalked through the woods by a psychopathic Russian; even Doctor Who's "Midnight." I could go on, but will stop before I expose myself even more as someone who watches far too much television.
This is all to say that I'm a sucker for a well-executed bottle episode – which would not be Edge of Destruction. Still, it's hard not to enjoy the absolute madcap nature of this story. It's as if all the actors have just walked in the door to workshop their characters and have decided to try on every possibility.
Is Susan a hysterical mess or perhaps inhabited by an alien? And what did that bed ever do to her?
Has the alien jumped from Susan to Ian -- or is he suffering from a concussion? Perhaps he's hoping to cash in on the coming zombie craze by working on his moves now or just waiting to get into that fetching Gilbert and Sullivan cloak.
Will The Doctor get them out of this mess or toss Barbara and Ian into the endless void of space?
Barbara literally saves the day -- for the viewer and the occupants of the TARDIS. I have no idea what she was talking about, but I’ll move forward, comfortable in the knowledge that she continues to be the utterly brilliant companion I find her to be. She gave The Doctor what for and he had to apologize for being a big fat Gallifreyan jerk. I’ll forgive the melty clock freakout, because I was feeling a bit screamy by this point, myself. Barbara saved this episode for me – and put everyone else to shame in the TARDIS loungewear.
With the spring – a spring? This was all about a spring? – repaired and order restored, here’s your damn Orangina, which has not been laced with a sleeping draught, for your information. I’m so going to pummel you when we get out into that snow.
Lasting image – Susan cradling the scissors.
Favorite moment – Barbara telling off The Doctor.
Best line - "Accuse us! You ought to go down on your knees and thank us! Gratitude's the last thing you'll ever have... or any sort of common sense either!"
Rating: The first episode is a delightful mess, but the actors rally in the second, more of a team and ready for their next adventure, so I’ll go with an overall 6/10.
Harry - Let's never fight again.
Lasting image - the TARDIS doors swinging open on their own. Creepy!
Favourite moment - After the TARDIS team's relationship was literally taken to the "edge of destruction", Barbara and the Doctor make up. This moment marks a shift for the Doctor from self-interested bastard to thoughtful leader of a team. (Makes you wonder how horribly he must have treated other people up to that point in his timeline.)
Best line - the Doctor's speech on the creation of a galaxy, culminating in his outburst of laughter. Deep down, he's just a science geek! Three stories in, we finally see the Doctor we will come to know and love.
Rating - an utterly mad story, unforgettable for its weirdness. I liked the fact that all this hysteria was prompted by a wonky spring. A cheeky resolution and one that they pulled off. I can even forgive the handwritten "Fast Return" label on the console. 7/10
I think we should watch the rest of this marathon in TARDIS loungewear.
Our marathon continues with Story #4 - Marco Polo...
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