What Ho, Old Boy! I have to admit that I have a soft spot for "Black Orchid", and not just because it's the first pure historical since "The Highlanders". It's not the strongest story, but it's a topping little romp, don't you think?
Harry -
Absolutely, ducks. It's a ripping yarn, and rather the quintessential story of the Peter Davison era. A quaint historical setting, a cricket match, a fancy dress party, and a spot of murder mystery. I always identify the Davison era with this group of companions, and they get to have a wonderful time in the roaring twenties before things take a very dark turn. Looking at it now, it's the last hurrah for this TARDIS team, a lovely little two-parter that's roughly the length of a new series story.
Sarah -
The actors may disparage it on the commentary track, but it's always fun to watch!
Harry -
Whenever I watch "Black Orchid" it makes me wish that there were more of these two-parters sprinkled throughout the classic series. "Short trips" as it were. Although the opening flurry of images was baffling the first time I saw it. Someone, somewhere, is being strangled. Somewhere else, Nyssa appears to be sleeping in a plush bed. Quick cut to a pair of legs bound up. Another quick cut to a South American tribesman reading a book. What the what now? Maybe the two-part structure caused things to be too rushed at the start, but as this was a repeat viewing for us, the rapid-fire opening was a nice prelude/refresher.
Sarah -
Having started the Great Fire of London, the TARDIS team is flitting about the galaxy in search of new adventures. Tegan is finally fully on board, having decided that she'll stay a bit before finally beginning her glamourous air hostess career. She even tells the Doctor, upon finding they've landed back on Earth, that he doesn't need to try to get her back to Heathrow. Of course, being Tegan, she manages to work in a crack about his inability to pilot the TARDIS properly. You can't expect too much change in one episode.
Harry -
The production team must have decided that having a row about Heathrow to start every adventure was too repetitive.
Sarah -
And for this we can only thank them!
Harry -
Instead of an aeroport, the TARDIS has landed at a train station in 1925. By a stroke of luck, a chauffeur is waiting to pick up a cricket player nicknamed the Doctor. Ever affable, our Doctor steps into the role, piles his friends into the open-top and away they ride to Lord Cranleigh's estate.
Sarah -
A case of mistaken identity, of course, as the chauffeur was meant to pick up a friend of Old Smutty, but who skips the chance to fit in a bit of cricket?
Harry -
The upper crust lingo being tossed about in this story was amusing, twicely so as Adric and Nyssa found it all baffling. Then again, they found the idea of a railroad baffling, so you never know.
Sarah -
I love that scene. Nyssa dismissing railroading as "a very silly activity" always cracks me up.
Harry -
The Doctor strolls onto the cricket pitch and starts batting and bowling like a seasoned pro. Meanwhile, Nyssa is about to confront the plot device that distresses me to no end: the identical twin character. Aargh!
Sarah -
Ah, the identical twin trope. Ann -- the fiance of Lord Cranleigh and former fiancee of his brother George, who mysteriously disappeared in Brazil -- is the spitting image of Nyssa. Oh, how the hijinks ensue when Ann suggests that she and Nyssa wear the identical butterfly costumes to the fancy dress party that evening. No one will be able to tell them apart! What could possibly go wrong?
Harry -
What indeed. Everyone makes their way to the garden for the party -- everyone except the Doctor. Having stepped into a secret passageway, he finds himself wandering empty staircases and corridors in the upper area of Cranleigh manor. "Why didn't I leave after the cricket," he sighs, then starts exploring various closets. A closet with old botany books, a closet with somebody's clothes, a closet with a dead butler. Dead butler, what that what?
Sarah -
Well now, that's quite awkward, what with all of Lady Cranleigh's guests about. Let's just keep this teeny, tiny secret between ourselves, Doctor. No need to create a fuss.
Harry -
Meanwhile, our friends party on unaware. Tegan kicks up her heels to the Charleston, Adric stuffs his face at the buffet, and Nyssa and Ann have fun swapping identities...
Sarah -
I love the party scenes. Check out Tegan making time with Sir Robert. That's the most flirting we've seen in Doctor Who in a good long time! And then there's the look of adoration on Adric's face when Nyssa cuts a rug on the dace floor. It seems there's just something irresistible about a fancy dress ball.
Harry -
...until the mysterious figure that snatched the Doctor's harlequin costume kills off another butler and attacks Ann next.
Sarah -
Now, this really is getting quite awkward. How is One to retain One's social standing with all this going on? Even more embarrassing, it seems to be Lady Cranleigh's allegedly missing son, George who seems to be the source of the kerfuffle. Poor George -- "Gee, thanks Mom for locking me in the attic so no one will know I'm horribly deformed and unable to speak. I wouldn't want to put a cramp in your social calendar." Bunch of upper-class twits!
Harry -
Although George causes the most death and destruction in this story, he ends up a tragic character worthy of the viewers' sympathies. The real villain of the piece is Lady Cranleigh, who puts public appearances above her own son's fortune, stowing him away like a broken lamp. Then she stands mutely by as the Doctor is accused of murder. She was ready to sell him down the river to protect herself from embarrassment. "How very unpleasant" indeed.
Sarah -
George's death is just brushed away. It's as if they're relieved to be rid of him!
Harry -
What awful people. On top of that, the Cranleighs all treated Ann like so much chattel to be handed off from one brother to the next as a matter of convenience.
Sarah -
What are they, bloody Tudors? Does Ann have no agency in this? Stand up for yourself, woman, you don't have to marry that prat!
Harry -
Then! At the end of the story, when the truth comes out, Lady Cranleigh buys her guests off with some gifts and party favours as though they'd only been inconvenienced in the mildest of ways.
Sarah -
Lalalala, here's a pretty dress and book. Off with you, now, peasants.
Harry -
If you scratch the surface of elegant Cranleigh Manor, there's nothing but foul gunk underneath. Can you imagine if we were doing a Marxist reading of "Black Orchid"? This review would be formatted in a raging ALL CAPS BOLD RED FONT, such would be our distaste with the British aristocracy.
Sarah -
The Cranleighs get my vote for first up against the wall when the revolution comes!
Harry -
I need a moment to calm down. And have a sippy of something.
Sarah -
May I suggest a screwdriver? Tegan finds them quite refreshing. Perhaps just orange juice for the children.
Harry -
I just can't think of Nyssa and Adric as children.
When the TARDIS team was bundled off to the police station, what did you think of that side jaunt to see the TARDIS?
Sarah -
Look, Old Chaps, it couldn't possibly be me -- here's my time machine! Can you imagine any other Doctor trotting the local constabulary into the TARDIS? The Doctor has been accused of murder dozens of times and this the lamest way he's gotten himself off the hook. And the best part is the cops' reaction, "Oh, well then, clearly you are a time traveler. That's all good, then. Carry on!"
What the what is going on here, Harry?
Harry -
That was one of the most ridiculous scenes in all of Doctor Who. "Blimey, it's bigger on the inside! Well no time to dawdle in here, we've just been called back to the old Cranleigh place. We'll forget all this the moment we step outside again. Hurry on, let's go!"
Rid. Ic. Ulous.
Sarah -
Can I just rant -- again -- that none of the previous Doctors would have engaged in this nonsense. Standards are slipping and I don't like this one bit!
Harry -
Anyway, everyone gets back to the manor in time to see a kind of King Kong/Phantom of the Opera melodrama play out as George starts a fire, breaks out of his room, snatches Nyssa and heads for the roof. I've never been wild about this ending because it's George who loses his life while the snooty snoots survive and move on as if nothing happened. I'm sure after the Cranleighs finally -- FINALLY -- got rid of that Doctor and the other riff raff, they had one of the servants sweep it all under one of the less expensive rugs.
Sarah -
Someone should have shoved Lady Cranleigh off the roof!
Harry -
Awful people. Let's move on.
Best line:
Stunned constable: "Strike me pink!"
Favourite moment: Tegan, Nyssa and Adric enjoy the fancy dress party.
Lasting image: the Doctor playing cricket.
6/10
Sarah -
Best lines:
Adric : "So what is a railway station?"
The Doctor : "Well, a place where one embarks and disembarks from compartments on wheels drawn along these tracks by a steam engine - rarely on time."
Nyssa : "What a very silly activity."
The Doctor : "You think so? As a boy, I always wanted to drive one."
Favorite moment: When Lady Cranleigh asks Nyssa is from and Nyssa responds, "The Empire of Traken." Lady Cranleigh, mutters, "Really..." and turns to watch the cricket, seeming appalled to be so close to anyone from vulgar Trakken.
Lasting image: The TARDIS crew in their fancy dress -- I do love those costumes!
6/10
Our marathon continues with Story #121: Earthshock...
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