"Frontios" is one of those stories that I watched once -- ages ago -- and pretty much the only thing I remembered was that there were giant ant-slug creatures in it.
When it came time to watch it again, I warmed up the VCR and slid the tape in. As the opening credits rolled, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that "Frontios" was "A Christopher H. Bidmead Joint" and got ready for some hard, factual science!
Sarah -
"Frontios" is just about as Bidmead-y as a Christopher Hamilton Bidmead story can get. Science!
Harry -
Yes, Science! But to me the story played out like a Pertwee era six-parter: a slow, lumbering thing about some hard-done-by human colonists on some blighted rock in space, terrorized by some hokey looking monsters.
I was left confused by it all.
Sarah -
I definitely have not watched this story since the 80s and received fan wisdom is not kind to "Frontios", so I was anxious going in. My expectations were so low that I ended up mostly liking it. "Frontios" has its problems, but for me it’s a decent story with far more strengths than weaknesses.
I know there are plenty of critics of Bidmead’s writing, but this is a fairly well-constructed story. We think we’re on a planet under siege from above, as meteors are hurtled at the humans, only to discover that the threat is coming from below. I love that!
Harry -
It begins with scenes of human space colonists doing what they do best: bickering. The partial collapse of a mine is hastily covered up and the research centre above it hastily shut down. The entreaties of Range, the chief science officer, are quickly shot down by Brazen, the security chief. "Don't go waving your title at me," Brazen growls. He's the prototypical bullying type, always barking out orders but never the first one to enter a room. The colony figurehead patsy that he props up is Plantagenet, a (literally) weak-hearted figure who seems content to let Brazen stomp around with his guardsmen. It's sad to see that humanity has not advanced any further in its social structures as it reaches the far reaches of the universe.
Sarah -
Who needs character development when there's science -- SCIENCE! -- to be portrayed? Bidmead presents us with a series of archetypes, most of which are very familiar to Doctor Who viewers, to start the story.
Harry -
That's what I was getting at. It's all so un-Bidmead.
Sarah -
But...but...SCIENCE!
Harry -
Well, let's check in with the TARDIS, where the Doctor has allowed his ship to drift to these same far reaches. A sudden meteor shower and a mysterious gravitational pull force an emergency landing on the planet Frontios.
Sarah -
If it's not one thing, it's another. Before the chaos begins, the Doctor is doing a bit of redecorating, moving the coat rack out of the console room. Pay attention, kids, this will be important later.
Harry -
Ah yes, the Coat Rack of Death.
Before we get to that, the Doctor, Tegan and Turlough jump right into the action, landing at precisely the same time as the meteor shower bombards the planet. They act quickly to come to the aid of an injured colonist. In the Pertwee era, an arrest would have been imminent, but this being the Davison era and this being a Bidmead story, there's some affable sciencey business to be had first.
Sarah -
While helping the injured, the Doctor complains about the primitive conditions, particularly the poor lighting. While the lighting is certainly not ideal for a medical facility, it's almost a relief to have a story that's not over-lit. The lower lighting creates an atmosphere that has been missing from Doctor Who for a while now.
Harry -
The low lighting is a result of the phosphor lamps that the colonists are forced to use, as they have no electricity. These lamps will come into play later on. For now, the Doctor believes he can rig up something more permanent for the colonists.
Sarah -
He sends Tegan and Turlough back to the TARDIS, but they can't get past the console room because the doors are jammed. The Doctor pays little attention to this news and responds to accusations from Plantagenet and Brazen by inviting them into the TARDIS. It must be the Davison era, if the locals are being invited to tromp aboard the TARDIS. Seriously, what is with that?
Harry -
Overly welcoming to the TARDIS -- we've seen that too often in recent times.
Sarah -
It's stupid how much this annoys me.
Harry -
Before anyone can get to the TARDIS, another bombardment occurs. Tegan, Turlough and Norna return from their mission to steal supplies to build a battery. The Doctor meets them at the TARDIS -- or rather, the place where the TARDIS had landed. It has vanished, and the Doctor declares that it has been destroyed. This cliffhanger stood out, as the TARDIS itself has not been in jeopardy in recent years. Now, apparently it is gone. Quite a shocking moment.
Sarah -
It's always disturbing when they lose the TARDIS.
Harry -
It's like having the lifeline cut.
Hauled before Brazen and Plantagenet, the Doctor is declared an enemy and sentenced to be executed. Turlough wields the Coat Rack of Death and they forge a brief escape. Brought together again, Plantagenet's weak heart gives out and he collapses. Using the stolen battery equipment, the Doctor rigs up a makeshift defibrilator. Okay, now THAT'S a very Bidmead moment. Science!
Sarah -
The coat rack was hysterical. There were several points in the story when I started to worry that Mark Strickson was going to hurt himself with so much acting, but it was nice for Turlough to finally have something to do. While the Doctor tends to Plantagenet, he and Norna begin analyzing the meteorite fragments and end up discovering an access hatch to the underground tunnels.
The end of episode two is a whirlwind -- Plantagenet is pulled underground, the colonists are looting the ship, Turlough has snapped after encountering the giant woodlice that his people have dealt with before, Norna is immobilized by said woodlice, only to be joined by the Doctor. This is the moment when the story grabbed my interest.
Harry -
Aye, the heretofore lumbering story shifts up several gears here. The ground swallowing Plantagenet was a very disturbing image. Mark Strickson probably had his best outing here, getting to play Turlough having a breakdown. We finally also get the tiniest hint of a backstory for his character. Always too little too late it seems in this era.
Sarah -
Our first glimpse of the Tractators made me laugh out loud. Turlough and Norna pass by two polished rocks, which turn around to reveal themselves as giant woodlice. The Tractator costumes look really good, but were apparently a nightmare for the actors inside, who had to have air pumped in between takes. The costumes also made it really difficult to understand much of what they said. There were scenes where I couldn't make out half of what they were saying.
Harry -
The Tractators are right out of the 70s and maybe even the 60s. Huge waddling things with rubber faces and barely functional mouths. At times it looked like they might have had John Gillett voicing his dialogue separately from someone operating the mouth of the Gravis, the lead Tractator.
Sarah -
The fact that they are so absolutely classic Doctor Who is what made me laugh with delight.
Harry -
The "tractor beam" moments were kind of psychedelic, but Tegan quickly found a means of breaking the spell by smashing one of the phosphor lamps. Both of the Doctor's companions were well worked into this story and not just tacked on to the side.
Sarah -
I couldn't agree more. They all had something to do and rose to the occasion.
Harry -
As with Mark Strickson, Janet Fielding did a great job here -- not the least for all the running and climbing and awkward positioning she had to do on uneven surfaces while wearing high heels, not once wishing that she'd chosen better footwear. After the air hostess uniform, this is Tegan's most memorable outfit in my mind -- I think of it as her "Sheena Easton" look.
Turlough certainly looked like he could have used a change of clothes by the end of his ordeal.
Sarah -
That's my favorite Tegan look. I watched all of these episodes as a teenager in the 80s and I will tell you I wanted this outfit something fierce. Air hostess uniform and boob tube outfit aside, Tegan was a bit of a fashion icon for me at the time.
Harry -
Absolutely. She looks amazing!
The story flags somewhat during part three, as Range is hauled before an inquiry and subjected to questioning with Norna and Turlough present.
Sarah -
Who the heck was the woman running the inquiry?
Harry -
She came out of nowhere, showed some authority, then was never seen again. Shrug-a-lug.
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Tegan wander around underground -- "running around like rabbits in a hole," as Tegan puts it. It does however, come to another fantastic cliffhanger, when the excavation machine comes rumbling along, bearing the ghoulish corpse of Plantgenet's father, the colony leader Captain Revere. Another disturbing image.
Sarah -
Totally disturbing. I was happy to be watching this during the day.
Harry -
Surrounded by Tractators and fresh out of phosphor lamps to smash, the Doctor pulls an Adric and sides with the villains. I had to chuckle at Bidmead's decision here.
Sarah -
The Doctor pretending Tegan was an android to protect her and the WTF look on Tegan's face were hysterical. "I got it cheap because the walk's not quite right. And then there's the accent, of course. But, when it's working well, it's very reliable. Keeping track of appointments, financial planning, word processing, that sort of thing."
Harry -
A hilarious kick that the story needed by this point. Tegan's face was priceless.
The Gravis totally falls for the Doctor's flattery and you can see the ending coming from a mile out. The Doctor has figured out the Tractators' modus operandi: they invade, infect and take control of entire planets, turning them into (ahem) "pirate planets" with which to cruise and plunder the universe. How brazen, Mr. Bidmead!
Sarah -
OMG, I hadn't made that connection. Douglas Adams should have called him out!
Harry -
Douglas Adams might have gotten around to it, eventually.
Meahwhile, Brazen, who ends up being a kind of goodie by the end, meets his doom by getting trapped inside the excavator machine, meeting the same ghoulish fate as Captain Revere. Everyone barely reacts. Savage!
Sarah -
Move along, colonists, there's nothing to see here...
Harry -
In keeping with his entire era, the Doctor naturally invites the Gravis into the TARDIS and bluffs him into using his powers to reassemble the ship.
ZAP! Right after that, the Gravis is rendered unconscious and our friends have won the day -- but not before a wonderful cutaway to Range and Norna chilling out and having a drink back at the research centre. It was so random, but I absolutely loved that quick scene. A wonderful "Sofa of Rassilon" kind of moment.
Anyway, Gravis unconscious, dumped on an uninhabited planet, Tractators rendered harmless, and the Doctor has stopped the extinction of the human race, right under the noses of the Time Lords. Huzzah!
At first, I wasn't too wild about this one, but over the course of our review, I've come around to this thing called "Frontios". Well done Messrs Bidmead, Saward and JN-T!
Sarah -
It's a quite good story, isn't it?
Harry -
Yes!
Best Line:
Norna: "Nobody expects you to go back down there."
Turlough: "No, of course they don't. I'm Turlough."
Favourite Moment: the boozy cutaway to Range and Norna.
Lasting Image: the Tractators -- then, now, and probably years from now.
7/10
Sarah -
Best Line -- You stole mine! Nothing tops that moment.
Favorite Moment: The Tractators reveal.
Lasting Image: Turlough wielding the Coat Rack of Death!
7/10
Our marathon continues with Story #133: Resurrection of the Daleks...
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