Oh dear, Sarah. After the heady heights of "The Invasion", we encounter "The Krotons" - a story that sets Doctor Who back five years. And I had been so looking forward to resuming this marathon after our fantastic weekend at Chicago TARDIS. That was a brilliant three days!
Sarah -
That was a good time, wasn't it? Sylvester McCoy was every bit as delightful as I had hoped he would be, Sophie Aldred was so very sweet, Gary Russell was adorable as ever, and we finally got to meet Toby Hadoke! Could he possibly be any lovelier?
Harry -
You know I was nervous about meeting Toby. Leading up to the weekend, I kept imagining that I'd blurt out something stupid to him, and he'd confiscate my copy of Running Through Corridors. Turns out, he's lovely! Nor did I blurt out anything stupid!
Sarah -
I had faith in you, Old Chum!
Harry -
Gary Russell is totally adorable. Hope he's back next year (with the rest of the world) for the 50th anniversary blowout.
Sarah -
It's going to be out of control. Did I tell you, Old Thing, that it's also my 30th Whovian Anniversary next autumn? Where has the time gone?
Harry -
And there's still so much to watch! I love Chicago TARDIS - and one of these years I just might get up and dance at the Britpop-Karaoke bash.
Sarah -
I suspect I'm going to have to get you good and drunk for that to happen. Or, at the very least, us old folks will need to take a nap to fortify ourselves for the late night!
Oh dear. I'm afraid we're going to have to discuss "The Krotons" eventually, aren't we? You know who "The Krotons" made me miss? The Dominators. How can we go up from there?
Harry -
Well, if we must discuss "The Krotons", I'm going to start with a list of things that I didn't like, performed in booming voice with pointless jesticulations, Kroton-style.
"THE KROTONS" LOOKS SO TERRIBLY DATED, LIKE A SCI-FI SERIAL FROM THE 40s OR 50s!
CHEAP COSTUMES!
BORING SETS!
NO MUSIC!
RIDICULOUS MONSTERS!
IT'S AS IF THE SHOW TOOK A HUGE STEP BACK AFTER THE EXCELLENCE OF "THE INVASION!"
Sarah -
Oh my. I'm putting my positive hat on here and focusing on the good stuff.
...
Oh, yes, there was Jamie's super-sexy, “No, I’ll not be needing that, thank you” when he was challenged to a fight by a Gond. Highlanders don't need weapons, you silly Gonds.
I liked that bit.
Harry -
This might be one of Jamie's best stories. He gets to fight someone, he bravely infiltrates the Krotons' machine, he gets to do science experiments, and for once he's neither hungry nor sleepy nor on vacation.
Sarah -
Also, Jamie's cravat, which was a nice jaunty bit he apparently picked up in swinging 60's London. Zoe's too-revealing mini-combo was a bit much and not her best look. I did not like that.
And, ummmm...back to you Harry, Old Boy.
Harry -
I have to hand it to Rob & Toby. Both of them tried very hard to say nice things about this story. They were tested to the limits!
Sarah -
It is that kind of story.
Harry -
One notable thing about "The Krotons" is that it marks two important first appearances: writer Bob Holmes and actor Philip Madoc.
Holmes is legendary, of course, for fleshing out entire worlds, conflicts and backstories in a matter of minutes. You can see some of that here, with the introduction of the thousand-year dilemma of the Gonds, their internal politics, and the wonderful upsetting of the apple cart by the Doctor and friends - all in the opening minutes of the story.
Sarah -
There's something else nice to say: it did get right to the point and felt like quite the breezy story after an eight-parter. Well done, Bob.
Harry -
Madoc is one of my favourite guest actors in all of Doctor Who. He has such quiet presence, and his voice is so listenable, I would buy audios of him reading a phone book!
Sarah -
He was brilliant, which I knew because I kind of wanted to punch him in the face for being such a self-serving jerk.
Harry -
I wondered why he was not a more celebrated name in British acting.
Our Toby wondered the same thing too.
Sarah -
That is because Toby is brilliant.
Harry -
Brilliant and lovely.
Sarah -
Oh, speaking of Beta (were we?), I found James Cairncross' performance rather endearing. How can you not love a character who says things like, “Let’s see what happens. We can only blow ourselves up.”
Did you know, Harry, that this was originally meant to be Frazer Hines' last story, but he decided to stay on until the end of the season when he found out Troughton was leaving, as well? The schedule was juggled a bit to accommodate keeping him on. Maybe that explains why I found Jamie particularly enchanting in this story.
Harry -
Interesting! I was just saying what a great adventure this was for Jamie. Glad he stayed on for three more stories.
Holy crap, there's just three Troughton stories left for us! Before we run screaming from this one, let me just note a couple more nice things.
Bob Holmes knows how to close a story as well as open one. Part Four offers some nice twists. First, Eelek completes his journey into total bastardness: he's willing to collaborate with the Krotons, sacrifice the TARDIS crew, and overthrow the existing order to further his own ambitions. Then Selris the old grump suddenly becomes a sympathetic character. He wants to give the TARDIS crew a chance to escape, and he pays the ultimate price for helping.
Sarah -
Oh, that was so sad.
Harry -
By that point, though, I was glad to get to the end. In a death scene befitting their crap design, one of the Krotons flops over and its head melts. I felt much the same way!
Sarah -
Let's talk about Jamie some more to cheer ourselves! I love how he was ready to bash his way into the Kroton lair to save the Doctor and Zoe and the way he was so chuffed to see that they had escaped. He was concerned when they entered the TARDIS, but knew that they would never leave him behind. He is the perfect companion -- endearing, loyal, and brave. And, also, cute, sweet, and sexy.
Harry -
As for Zoe, she got to do math... which is her favourite thing... so her adventure wasn't entirely wasted.
Sarah -
Have we said enough nice things yet?
Harry -
Damme! I'm just trying to say things that are not overly harsh. Let's wrap it up.
Sarah -
I'm slightly embarrassed to say that it's just occurred to me to say that Troughton is utterly delightful in this story. After being shuffled to the background a bit by UNIT, he's very front and center in "The Krotons" - I kind of missed him!
Harry -
Too bad about the umbrella. Vandals!
Best line: "Great jumping gobstoppers, what's that?"
Favourite moment: the Doctor fusses about before taking the math test.
Lasting image: the Krotons' arms flailing as they spoke.
4/10
Sarah -
Best Line: I've got two, which occur within moments of each other and need to be together:
Zoe : "The Doctor's almost as clever as I am."
The Doctor : "Zoe is something of a genius... It can be rather irritating at times."
Favorite Moment: Jamie's fight in episode one.
Lasting Image: The Doctor in close-up at the end of episode one as the phallic-camera-thingy probes his face.
I'm starting to feel a bit more warm-hearted towards The Krotons after that discussion.
5/10
Our marathon continues with Story #48 - The Seeds of Death...
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